MY STORY
Hi I am Emma. I am a mum of two boys, a wife, a home renovator, an audhd-er and I also work part-time as a construction site cleaner (yes. you read that right). I like the physical challenge because I dislike the gym and it gives me a way to give my brain a break from being a therapist and get in my fitness. It's my way of having balance in my life, brain and body.
I had an extremely chaotic childhood moving to many different schools, witnessing domestic violence and being adopted by my grandparents all before highschool. This upbringing really impacted my development and paved the way for my negative fear based beliefs of self and relationships. Witnessing this taught my subconscious about my identity, my worth and what love looks like. This made me susceptible to trauma and drama in my subsequent years. During highschool I struggled with codependent and people pleasing tendencies that caused me to fall into toxic friendships, relationships and situations. I found myself in a domestic abuse relationship, masking my struggles and surrounded by people that didn't give a shit about me. I pushed away those that were nice to me and subconsciously chose the kinds of relationships and friendships that were normal to what I was used to seeing.
I am mindful not to trauma dump here so I'll just put in here the troublesome things I've been through or still impact my life. It's a pretty comprehensive list and most can't believe what I have endured in my short 38ish years. Complex PTSD, Anxiety, Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Date Rape, Witness to physical violence, bullying, Post-natal Depression, Post-partum Rage and Suicidal Ideation.
I've had psychological sessions as a child and an adult with a few psychologists, one psychiatrist, participated in counselling and done many complementory therapies and learnt SOOO many different modalities and healing methods but the one thing that has allowed me to turn my life around (and literally want to live in it) has been participating in an Aaruka Healing Session. Having participated in so much mental health support and seen many doctors and specialists for the many different symptoms (I now know are linked to trauma and chronic stress); I can easily say that the Aaruka Healing Session was THE thing that changed it all for me. At the time it felt like it didn't do anything but over the course of the next 3-6 months I started to notice more and more the ways I was participating in or allowing toxic patterns to control my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Slowly and surely I started untangling myself from the people, places and things that made me feel shit and less than my worth.
At one point I remember thinking about how I was going through a similar situation that would have completely caused me to abandon myself and avoid conflict to keep someone else happy but I didn't in that instance. I chose myself. I chose to stick to my boundaries, to be loud about the disrespect handed to me, I chose to leave a friendship where I was disrespected and manipulated because I KNEW I was worth more than that. Not only that but I truly believed it without a question. I was no longer available to be treated that way and I stood my ground. My subconscious fear pattern of choosing shitty people over choosing my solitary peace was broken and I didn't consciously choose it. It just happened and I noticed I'd changed retrospectively. The old me would have chosen to "just be quiet and deal with it" to keep the peace and move through it with the least burden to others but the new me chose to have difficult conversations, cry in front of people, advocate for my worth and my respect even while trembling and shaking - no matter the cost or how lonely. I finally believed I was worthy of healthy friendships and wouldn't settle for anything less and even though it was hard to deal with the difficult person and the fall out in a social group I am so proud of myself. I am no longer hanging in spaces where I am tolerated any longer, only where I am celebrated. Quality over quantity. I come first now. For the first time in my life I believe I am worthy of respect and love.
So now I know it works I have to share it with anyone who feels the kinds of things I was feeling or felt like they don't have any options to living a more fulfilling life. One of the things I need everyone to know is that without my healing session I wouldn't be able to experience the most profound feelings of joy and love that I do. Changing my self beliefs has meant that I am now experiencing life to the absolute maximum when it comes to happiness. I no longer am limited to the numbness that comes with always being in survival mode and just coping. THRIVING feels different and I can't wait to see what the rest of my life has in store for me and I'm very excited to be able to offer this to other women who feel frustrated, overwhelmed and stuck too!
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